INTRODUCTIONDraft 4/1/09
There are stories everywhere. One day when I was a CEO, I was walking
on the street towards my office when our Director of Risk Management stopped
me. He asked if I could give him a
bit of help on a speech he was preparing. “You seem to have a story for every
occasion,” he said. “And I need a
story to illustrate a point. Can I
use one of yours?”
He was right about the
stories. I do have a lot of
them. But what is characteristic
about them is that they are most often about ordinary experiences of life. They are seldom unique, grand, or
special. I reminded him of that,
which he acknowledged as true. I
suggested that in his own life, he was as likely as me to have had experiences
that would illustrate the important points in his speech. I asked him a few questions to
stimulate his thinking and encouraged him look for his own lessons. If he used the lessons from his own
experiences, I observed, they would not only make good speech components but
even more importantly he could use them himself as building blocks in his work.
Where should you turn for guidance
when the pace of life and the complexities of business make correct action
uncertain? Many people rely on the
advice of outside experts, and as a consultant, I am happy to be called upon
for assistance. There is a richer
source of valuable insights, however: looking inside and extracting the lessons
of your own personal history. For
years, I have worked with the leaders to help them tune into their own
stories. When relevant, I share my
personal experiences and the guidance I have derived for making choices and
taking action, and I encourage them to do likewise. My leadership and life experiences are not unusual, so my
lessons often apply broadly, but the practice of personal reflection and growth
is what is more important for me to share.
In writing this, I am reminded of
Robert Fulghum’s All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten. When he published his “credo,” it became a staple of
forwarded emails, and later his book spent many months at the top of the
bestseller lists. He
connected with millions of people because his lessons were so simple but we
could recognize something much more in them. Here’s how the list started:
· “Share
everything.”
· “Play
fair.”
· “Don't
hit people.”
· “Put
things back where you found them.”
· “Clean
up your own mess.”
What was so compelling about those lessons is that people
could not only identify with the childhood experiences but also readily apply
them to adult situations.
Another author, Wendy Kaminer,
later commented, “Only people who die very young,
learn all they really need to know in kindergarten.” I laugh when I think about that – because I actually agree
with both of them. Am I
just displaying the normal human tendency to overlook inconsistencies in my own
beliefs and thinking? Or
perhaps as a psychologist and as a former CEO, have I had too much practice
reconciling differences between people and finding common ground to build
on? Actually, in the case of
Fulghum and Kaminer, I think they are in agreement with each other at a deep
level, and it is only on the surface where the conflict seems to exist.
Kaminer is saying to us, in effect:
Hold on, folks. Let’s not be
childish and naïve. The world is
very complex. We have adult issues
to contend with, and we need to exercise adult thinking and judgment. I can’t
argue with that. New challenges
arise all the time. We cannot hope
to deal effectively with them if we stop growing and stop learning.
But I don’t think Robert Fulghum
would disagree either. He
never proposed or even hinted that we should stop learning. The beauty of his simple list, and the reason
so many people resonate to it, is that he demonstrates how we as adults should
take our earlier experiences and look to them for insights and lessons as we
encounter even greater challenges.
I think both he and Kaminer advocate lifelong learning. As do I.
My goal in Making Your
Experience Matter is
to help you increase your ability to lead, to solve problems, and to act
effectively by becoming a lifelong learner. I have organized the book into 10 chapter clusters on topics
ranging from Managing and Measuring to Asking Questions, Hypothesis Testing,
Listening, Modeling, Empathy, Values, Applications, and Confidence. Within each cluster are five very short
chapters that build upon each other.
At the most basic level in each cluster are the Foundation Chapters
(1.1, 2.1, 3.1, etc.). These are
followed by what I refer to as Next Steps that address the core issues from a
slightly higher level of development (chapters 1.2, 2.2, 3.2, etc.). I then pause to consider the most
common problems that are likely to block or limit learning within a cluster and
suggest ways to Overcome Obstacles (chapters 1.3, 2.3, 3.3, etc.). Accelerators come next. These are lessons designed to
significantly improve the rate of learning for leadership performance (chapters
1.4, 2.4, 3.4, etc.). The culminating
chapter for each cluster I refer to as Mastery Level. These are learning behaviors that exemplify a very high
level of self-awareness, insight, and commitment to growth (chapters 1.5, 2.5,
3.5, etc.). Performing at mastery
levels requires discipline and maturity and is something better described as
practiced than as achieved.
I have deliberately kept each
chapter very short (2-3 pages) to make it easy for busy readers to choose a
single issue or lesson to focus on at a time. The format encourages readers to take one chapter and
reflect before moving to the next one.
The chapter clusters will help readers identify the cumulative effects
of continued skill refinement.
Most readers will find the book most productive in enhancing their own
skills and self-awareness if they read each of the chapters within a cluster
before moving on to the chapters in another cluster.
There is a logic to the sequence of
the clusters, but readers should feel free to choose among the clusters in a
different order if their interests lead them to specific topics first. After the first reading, some readers
may want to go back to focus on specific levels, such as obstacles,
accelerators, or mastery. In that
case, the chapter numbering system will help them zero in on just the chapters
they want (e.g. all chapters numbered _.4 are “accelerator” chapters).
The world continues to change in
surges of increasing frequency and amplitude, and leaders need the broadest
array of resources upon which to call.
Evidence-based best practices may exist in some cases. Sometimes there
are experts who have deep knowledge or specialized tools to use on our
behalf. Often, however,
leaders will encounter situations where there is no obvious right way to
proceed. In those instances,
leaders must reach inside and use the accumulated wisdom of a lifetime of
experiences to correctly assess the situation, identify options, evaluate pros
and cons, and exercise judgment to make good decisions and take action. Lifelong learners have an advantage because
they have much more experience on which to call. They can make their experience matter.
Contrast such leaders to others who
are less alert and less reflective.
Those who are self-satisfied and complacent about learning are prone to
repeat errors. They get mired in
the old formulas and old solutions for old problems. Those who are certain that they already have the right
answers don’t ask good questions, so they remain unaware of the true
circumstances in which they find themselves and are unable to adjust flexibly
to change. They display insecurity
and defensiveness about alternative approaches and tend to surround themselves
with like-minded people. When you
encounter people like this, you realize that their experience has conveyed
little benefit. They fit the
classic pattern of the individual who has not gained 25 years of experience but
rather has repeated one year of experience 25 times.
As you consider your future – what
you hope to achieve and what you hope to contribute – both will be determined
to a large degree by how you make your experience matter. This book contains fifty lessons in
lifelong learning ranging from the basic to the advanced. My wish for you is that you will find
your own top ten, the ones that resonate with you and will become your personal
good habits and that these will help you achieve your dreams as you nurture the
seeds of all the potential that lies within you.
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