To retrieve the full article, click here or on the title above.
Here are some excerpts:
I am a psychologist by training, and people as diverse as my stepmother and various business associates worry that I can see right through them. If only I could! Think how helpful it would be to understand patterns of behavior, to recognize hidden agendas, to anticipate actions correctly, and to appeal to each individual's strengths and interests. Actually, I can. And so can you.
I use a simple acronym to help me focus on the right things. It is the W-H-A-T in what makes people tick: Watch what they do, Hear what they say (i.e. listen), Ask them to tell you why they do what they do, and Test them (using standardized or repeatable measures). Almost anyone can employ this approach.
Watching what people do is a powerful tool for understanding them and anticipating their next actions. There are three keys to watching: pay attention to the substance, not the flair; look for patterns over time; and understand that stress causes most people to revert to earlier, less mature forms of behavior.
Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, but peoples' words can provide you with a peek inside their hearts and heads. ... While watching behavior can help you tell what someone else will do, listening can help you learn about the why's of that behavior.
Asking is the active cousin of listening. When you ask someone to explain himself or herself, you help set the stage for self-assessment. ... Being a good 'asker' not only helps you understand others better, it can strengthen your relationships with them.
You do not need to be a psychologist or to have access to psychological inventories in order to 'test' others. You can test others by comparing their answers and actions to those of others you have observed in very similar circumstances. As you build up your base of experience, and if you take care to pay attention to patterns over time, you will begin to achieve insights similar to those that can be gained by testing.
When you capitalize on others' strengths, you help them to contribute and to be successful, and that is in all of your best interests.